Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
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