But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
