Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
