The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
