just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
i dont even know how to be here
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I fucked her with a giant balloon tied to my dick. You tell ME how my night went
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
Randomize
