Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Still slightly drunk, sitting in Hyde park village. Two small children are dancing and singing "call me maybe" on the fountain in front of me. Am I hallucinating?
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
Randomize
