if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
one might say we're banned from that church
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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