I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
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