Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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