Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize
