Dude my mom stole all your condoms
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
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