break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Randomize
