i just had sex bonerless
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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