Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
