Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize
