If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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