I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
