so explain again why im purple
no
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
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