Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
