What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
