I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
