please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i just had sex bonerless
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
