i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
My day in three words: secret purse cake
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Randomize
