life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
