So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Randomize
