Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
