I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
