ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize