when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
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