i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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