guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
What's the address?
Too drunk. Just google it.
IT'S YOUR HOUSE
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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