we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
i tried giving myself a bikini wax.1. i hate you 2. i think i'm dying
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
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