: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
