i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
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