sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
Randomize