I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
