I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
its not stalking. its research.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
