Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
