one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
why is half of my head shaved?
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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