He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
