i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Considering the fact that you wouldn't give me my cat last night because he was "destined for broadway", yeah, I'm accusing you of stealing him
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
