stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
