Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
