Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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