Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
