he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
