Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
