Me too!
Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
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