i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
