Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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