what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
