Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
