the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
