Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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