I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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