They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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