My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Want me to give your number to an army recruiter?
I don't know... do you want me to use your number to sell used gay porn on Craigslist?
I sense beginning a prank war would end badly for both of us.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
