apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Randomize