dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I will forever be haunted by the image of you hurrying to finish your Jimmy Johns sandwich in the Taco Bell drive thru so you could proceed to order $17 dollars worth of shitty Mexican food.
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
