just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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