Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
Who died my cat blue again?
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
