i wish there were pregnant emoticons
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
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