I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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